To Say it or Not ???

Okay nowadays...

You can text, email, im, facebook message, facebook wall, call, blackberry im....whoa. You get the point. And most of the time if communication is not face to face - some of the message will get lost.

So with new friends, new relationships do you say it or not. When you are frustrated, drunk, scared, emotional .... do you say it or just act like nothing is bothering you???

My opinion. If you feel it. Say it.

But don't say it when you are feeling it.

When you are upset.....write it....save it as a draft. Once you have some space from it, look at it again. Edit it. Make it as concise and truthful as you can. Say it and do it once. Meaning pick one form of communication. And clearly state how you feel. And then let it be. Yes, they got it. If they aren't responding......that's a response enough.

Don't play the games, but make sure you are always clear in what you say you want....
Because you don't always get what you want...but you never know if you don't try.
xo,
Penelope

Expectations

Okay look.

If you have an expectation of a date, a conversation, a party, a vacation....it's likely not to be met.

What do I mean? Basically if you have this expectation, you need to share your vision with others or go to work to make it happen. If you let your mind dream and drift away, usually reality cant live up to the vision.

This does not mean do not have high expectations of life. It just means go out there and make them happen instead of sitting back and dreaming about them.

Nice Guys

So here is a hilarous thought.

All my life, guys that were "nice" to me, I wasn't attracted to? I mean, that means I have serious issues. No it's true. I do, but I am working on it.


Now when a guy or girl gives me a compliment....I feel either it's insincere or like I want to run. It's sooo strange. I feel like it's the oddest thing someone is vocally telling me I am smart, or pretty, or witty or fun.


I guess this happens when you've been with someone that just doesn't pay you compliments and mostly nags at your bad habits.


So the next time someone pays you a compliment, that is the way it should be. People should love you and want to be nice to you. If they aren't, that is not normal. And nooo.....playing a game with them won't make them say a compliment. So stop fishing. Stop working for it. Be around people that like you, and openly share it.

Now time for me to take that advice! :)

Risks

Let's be honest.

We all take some sort of risks. And we think we know what we have to lose or gain.

So what happens when you have nothing to lose? You will either stand still or take the biggest risks of your life.

Personally, I can't stand still. I can't stand people who do. Either move back, forward or somewhere just move.

So I am risk taker. I mess up. I fall. I make mistakes. But I think it's the only way I have learned. It's the only way I have become who I am. So people who haven't changed lately, I think they are just standing still.

My risks lately have included all aspects of my life....and every way I do things. I will say so far, I feel like I have made small mistakes but overall feel great about moving in a new direction. It's exciting to have a new direction, you have to be open to the possibilites. You have to be ready to change. It's a risk.

So far I have gone on interviews, emailed CEO's for meet and greets, moved to a new apt I have no idea if I can afford, change my hair, joined a kickball team, met 1,000 new people, travelled more this summer than I ever have, threw myself into being a aunt, and changed my daily routines.

Is it's not a "new me" and not easy. But it's me growing....a risk.

Stop giving it out for free!

Okay just a bit of a rant.

Girls throw themselves at guys. They do their laundry. Watch their dog. Pay for his dinner. Have casual sex with them. Pick up their car. Stand by while they date "the other girl". Answer the texts. Buy him gifts.

Then they wonder why he isn't going to commit to you?

Look someone wants to give me a free car, I am not going to pay for one??????

And no, they know you so they aren't going to suddenly realize how awesome you are.

Take Care of You

Ladies,
You are not resposnible for saving any men.
If they can't get their act together......it's not your job to save them.

You are only responsible for you.
You can only save you.

You can't normally change men, let alone save them.

I could give you a thousand examples. But stop justifying it. It's that simple.

From Eat, Pray, Love..

"YOU DONT NEED A MAN, YOU NEED A CHAMPION."

Games we play

What game do you play?

We all have our act. Do you act coy and innocent? Do you act like you are a sports buff? Do you act like you are the best lay he'll ever get? Do you act like you love to fish? Interested in cars?

You get what I am saying. When you begin your flirting, there is that old habit that kicks in. I read an interesting article that 91% of the time, it's not the 'real' you.

Woman often dont show themselves until the 3rd or 4th date. Err....so get this 78% of relationships end after the 3rd of 4th date.

Oh no.

Who's fault is this?

Well .... I dont like to point blame.

But here is the thing, try really hard to show yourself. Try to put yourself forward.

Because you put out this really tough girl that only wants sex, and isn't out for a relationship like all those other stupid girls......but then suddenly turn into the neurotic upset girl that can't understand why he didnt call after the amazing sex????

Well.
He fell for the first image you put out there....and is probably running from the second one.

But someone will love you for you. You just have to show it to them :)
xo,
Penelope